The new job has kept me really busy and certainly stifled my desire to write. However, this has not stopped the thoughts from whirring around in my head. Here lately I have been reading in Luke and I especially got stuck on the final sentence of the story of the calling of the first disciples in Luke 5.
11So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.
That is a very scary statement. They left EVERYTHING. They left a business, capital inventory items, nets, homes, maybe families. Who know for sure what they really left, but we do know that the book says everything.
How challenging is that?
Every year, every month, every day, and every minute is a new adventure in learning to trust God more and more. A process of becoming less, personally, and Christ becoming more. 2009 showed me some lows that I never thought I’d see, but I also saw His provision. Perfectly timed and exactly what was needed.
Leaving everything is a tough thing for us to process. Honestly, I don’t know if I can process it mentally. But, I do know that I want to give Him a bigger slice of the pie than what I have been giving in the past. As some of you know who read my ramblings, I love worship and making music. All these years I have held myself back from fully engaging with Him during those times. I’ve always rationalized that I needed to worship some but yet keep my mind in tune with the specifics of the music. What I am dragging up on the shore and walking away from this year is that part of my mind that doesn’t fully commit to worship because I’m convinced that if I fully enter worship that I’ll screw something up.
This year is all about worshiping with total abandon. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Tuning in. Singing to Him. Crying out to Him. Leading well.
This is my commitment to Him.
What are you draggin’ up on the shore and leaving for a deeper walk with Christ?
Blessings…
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