Well hello again! After over a month of inactivity in this space it is time to get crackin. I promised an update a couple of weeks ago and after getting ribbed by my blogging hero, I figured it was time. This is gonna be a long one. Grab a cup of coffee and dive in!
I am a Christ follower, if you have read anything around this blog I am pretty sure that you figured that out by now. I believe that He has a plan for me and a purpose for every season that I walk through.
If you read the post Throwing Off the Clutter you know well the front end of the story. Now, like Paul Harvey used to so cleverly say, “now you know the rest of the story.” So now, here it comes.
In November of last year God started me on a walk of faith. A walk of growth. A walk of trust. Living under the strain of slowly loosing a job and slipping into unemployment is hard to swallow. Especially after being employed continuously for sixteen years. What the world sees as security was totally gone… kaput. However, we knew that we were not in this alone and that our heavenly Father was superintending our path. As a family we decided that we would physically count the blessings. Physically write them down. We knew that Gods hand was on this situation and we were looking for His fingerprints, but we wrote the blessings down just to make sure we were extra attentive to His work in this season.
This list grew rapidly as we saw Him show up in so many ways. Skeptics would say… “just coincidences” but there is just no way. The more we relied on Him the more He showed up. Financially, yes, some, but mostly in the ways that would make us better stewards of what we had. He allowed us to be generous with others with food from a meager 64 square feet of a garden. What He provided through those few little square feet has filled our freezer and table in ways we can not believe.
Most of all, He blessed me spiritually. He showed me through His word on more than one occasion that He had me in His hand, that He knew me, and that He would provide for me. He also taught me another simple truth… THAT IT WAS NOT ABOUT ME! It was about HIM and what He could do for and through me, just because HE LOVES ME.
Through the days of unemployment and the days leading up to it I clung to a few of the Psalms. As long as I live I will never let these two go. They both mean so much to me now since He used them to scribe upon my heart. The one I want to share today is Psalm 139.
1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
This, although I have heard this so many times, developed a new meaning to me. It is just so simple… He knows ME! I do not know where I missed this all these years. He knows ME! He knows me so well that He is “familiar with my ways.” Oh wow…. He does know ME!
5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
This was another one of those breathtaking moments and scriptures. Such a simple statement. You hem me in. I can sit and think about how many times I have watched my wife sew something. Nice, tight little stitches in a nice little line across the fabric. So tight, so secure. It is almost impossible to sew something neatly by hand without some intense concentration. Not enough concentration and your stitch line gets sloppy. Not enough concentration or your fabric will get a little blood stained from the stick of the straying needle. God neatly stitches us in with His plan. He was doing this for me even when I did not see it. The Psalmist tells us quite clearly that this knowledge is too wonderful for me. His complete covering is stunningly amazing so much so that I melt with the thought.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
Through this season there were some days where I did not even feel like breathing. I felt like a total failure. I felt rejected, refused, denied, and kicked. I did not even feel like getting out of bed and taking a shower. The resumes went out and nothing came back. I began to equate the process to screaming at the top of my lungs into a black hole. Although surrounded by my family, I still felt alone. Rejected by the professional job world. After reading this passage and its beautiful symbolism that changed. I could not hide from Him, from His blessings, discipline, or love. This reminded me that I am totally surrounded by Him, no matter what. I really began to understand that He really was guiding me with one hand and holding me up with His other one. Imagine being held in His hand… sitting in His palm… felling the comfort of knowing that you are being held fast… secure. As the psalmist stated… there is no darkness in Him.
The final piece of the psalm that grabbed me the hardest and that secured me the most was this…
16 …All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
All of this that seemed so tragic to me was no surprise to Him. He knew these days were coming, He knew it well. He knew it well enough to write them down. I do not know about you, but if I do not write something down that I am assured to forget it. He knew about these days. I believe that He lovingly wrote these days down to remember to teach me just how much He cares for ME and how much He wants to mold me into the man I need to be to fulfill His purpose for me here on earth. It was no mystery to Him.
One year ago on the first Monday in November, I lost my job and set sail on this journey of faith. On the first Monday in November of this year I walked into my new job. God gave me a chance to learn to really trust in Him.
I grabbed for the gold ring on this merry-go-round of life and faith. Guess what… I got the ring and a ton of lessons to go with it. Thanks Father for your fingerprints on my life.
So I ask you, what is challenging you today? Where do you stand on your walk of faith? God wants to lead you somewhere more amazing than you can imagine. Will you take the first step?
Blessings…
0 comments:
Post a Comment